Thursday, September 24, 2009

Why????

I always question myself.... why is it like this????
People whom you love the most and care the most hurt you the most???

But I finally found out that it’s not the others but myself who is hurting me. Because I am the one who has given the permission for them to hurt me.

Then why did I give them the permission??? It’s because I feel they are nearer and dearer to me. I care for them; I value them the most in my life.

Oh my god....

It’s like answering the question...
“Which came first??? The chicken or the egg”

Let me go back to the work instead of getting caught in this dead lock :D

Monday, September 21, 2009

Some Snippets

From past few years I have a habit of getting my photographs clicked every year and laminating it. My parents love those photographs (all the parents believe that their children are the mostest beautiful children in the wholest of the world) and they have hanged all the laminated photographs on the wall. Yesterday few of my friends visited my house and were looking at my pictures. And one commented,

Friend: Very nice pictures.... So next year your parents are going to put two more on the wall is it???

Me: Why two, next year also one photo only know

Friend: the rate at which you are growing horizontally I doubt if next year you can fit into one photograph...............

Me: :-|

*************************************

Yesterday I had been to a function. I met few of my friends there. We had a gala time and then had lunch together. Lunch was really tasty. I had nicely. Then I walked towards the hand wash. One of my friends called me from behind and asked me....

Friend: Hey what are you doing here ???

Me: Washing my hands :-|

Friend: If you are here attending the functions and having the lunch ... who will carry chamudeswari idol in dasara procession ???

Me: :-| :-|


P.S : Elephants carry goddess chamundeswari idol during dasara procession



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Yesterday hubby was also with me. He met most of my relatives. We reached home. Casually we were talking. In between hubby remarked.

Hubby: none of your relatives or family members is that good looking know

I gave a GOOD look to hubby.

Hubby: err...excluding you dear. You are my wife sweaty. Look at You. You are so good looking. Look at your eyes...they are err ... big.. err... Furious

I continued my GOOD look at him...

Friday, September 18, 2009

Being Silent .....

I was just browsing through some of the other blogs and I found an interesting post which talked about the power of being silent. Though I know ‘silent’ as a word I have had no experience of being silent (check with my hubby. He is sure to second me on that :-))

For me 'silence' is synonymous to 'impossible'.

My mom tells I was the one among the early talkers as a kid. No wonder I am a chatter box today. Even though there is no need, though there is no meaning I simply keep blabbering something or the other. I always want to come out of this bad habit (‘bad’ because my blabbering had resulted in many problems with friends/strangers and family members). Especially when I am angry, I spurt out everything which is there and not there in my mind which in turn causes havoc. Spoken words and broken hearts can never be repaired.

So I was discussing with hubby how to learn to be silent. Suggestion came instantly,

“Go to AOL, attend vipasana course”.

Hubby had been to the course. But I never saw him exhibiting what he learnt especially when I start talking err... blabbering err... spurting. He losses his cool and shouts at a greater pitch than mine (sorry for little exaggerations!!! he can never pitch his voice greater than mine. I am sure nobody can beat me in this regard)

Then I thought, learning something in normal environment cannot prepare you for extreme situations. If at all one has to learn something, learn it in extreme conditions, then the lessons last longer.

So I have decided I will be with my MIL and learn to be silent :-|

Monday, September 14, 2009

The bird in it’s nest ....

A bird started weaving a nest. It was very happy it’s building a nest. The bird had a great enthusiasm. It flew far off places to get fine fibers and strong twigs. While weaving it took care of even tiniest things because it wanted to build the best nest. The bird all the time dreamt about its future. It was thinking it will get married soon and lead a peaceful life with its partner in the beautiful nest it’s weaving now. The bird wanted to make a big nest because it thought the nest should be enough for her kids when she will have some. She dreamt that one day she will be feeding her kids and playing with her kids and her partner taking care of her. She always dreamt about one happy family. She had so much love in her heart. She needed somebody to share it with. She wanted happiness everywhere. She needed happiness around her always. With all these dreams, anticipations, love and care the bird happily weaving the nest. The efforts she was putting in reflected the love flowing within her. Lost in her dreams one day while the bird was weaving the nest, it’s started getting dark. Bird with its everlasting enthusiasm thought night is approaching and continued to weave. When the tiredness won over its enthusiasm the bird found that she is caught inside the nest and there is no opening at all. The bird was buried in her own nest with her unfulfilled dreams.

It is the story of most of us who without realizing where we end up, just get lost in our dreams.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Happy Teachers day

I was thinking of posting this post from past one week but one lazy bum I am posting it now. I would like to take this opportunity to thank all my teachers.

In Sanskrit a teacher is called “GuRu”, and you know why, the syllable ‘Gu’ means shadows or dark and the syllable ‘Ru’, he who disperses them,
Because of the power to disperse darkness the ‘GuRu’ is thus named.

There were/are some teachers who shaped my life to a greater extent and are responsible for all the success in my life. Especially my mom (mothers are the first ever teacher in ones life) who stood by me in the time of crisis and taught me how to fight with the unfair life bravely. She taught me the little lessons of humanity, kindness, obedience, sharing, being faithful, and taking responsibilities which actually make a big difference in the world. Even if I want to thank her from the bottom of my heart, I cannot, because it will fall short for her stature.


I thank my teachers especially NSR, SR, MAV, MVV who made me a better person and inspired me to do great things in life and I only hope someday in my life I will do something great because that’s the only way I can repay for what I learnt from them.


I thank those who taught me the lessons which were there in the syllabus so that I could score good marks in my exams and get into good colleges and industries.


I even thank whole heartedly to those who did not even teach what they were supposed to teach, and gave some crappy reasons why they could not. And because of that I was forced me to learn by myself. They indirectly taught me being self-reliant.


On the whole I thank them all and all the small and big things in life, who/which taught me in one way or the other and helped me becoming better day by day. So everything and everybody in this universe are my teachers and I thank them all on this teacher's day.


As life itself is a big school and we are all the students of this school, we will continue to learn as long as we live and there will be many more teachers coming and going in our lives teaching something or the other.


So I wish everybody “Happy Learning” And let’s keep learning :)

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I am Bored

I am really feeling very bored :(

Nowadays I am not able to get up early. Early as in by 7am. The weather is so good to wrap yourself in blanket and sleep forgetting the existence of the outside world!!! My boredom starts from the moment I wake up, as I don’t have the required energy to overcome the resistance of my desire to sleep more. But I have to get up as it’s the question of two square meals.

By the time I get up, get ready and leave for office the traffic jams will be at its peak. It takes around one and a half hour to reach office. While yawning I look around at the co-rider’s faces, I find the dreamy eyes, lazy postures and bored looks. People see what they want to see, you see.

I reach office by 11:30 which is almost lunch time. Good lord !!!
Then my drowsy mind takes the advantage of this and decides to start working only after the lunch. May be it feels having lunch may induce some energy boosters so that it can wake up completely or may be it ends the boredom.

So my half closed eyes start browsing through the official mails, forwarded mails and news websites, glancing watch every now and then. Sleep again throws its charm on me leading to more boredom.

Boredom is like a pitiless zooming in on the epidermis of time. Every instant is dilated and magnified like the pores of the face.
-- Charlotte Whitton

So it almost takes 3 to 4 hrs to strike 12:30 and which leaves the boredom to increase exponentially.

At last I am done with my lunch and again am back in my 3x3 palace. Trying to recollect at what point I had stopped my previous day’s work.

Ahh !!! The work is so boring.
I am not able to bring up the setup.
The network is too slow. See... even the network is bored of its every day’s work.
The sessions are not coming up.
Heavy lunch is adding more heaviness to the already heavy eye lids. My mega slow mind is now thinking “Actually I can postpone it to tomorrow as it is not too critical”.

Procrastination, a byproduct of boredom, had already started working within me.
Then I think “Okay let me blog, but what to blog?” I can feel the cloudy whether both inside and outside. My mind just wants to sleep tight.
“Shall I go home taking half a day leave????”

“Hmmmm... I do not have any leaves left with me”

Boredom had established it undisputed throne in my mind and heart and ruling efficiently. Its forts are so strong and high I am not able to muster the energy to fight it out.

So I ended up writing this boring post.

After another 10 to 12hrs..........

I finished 9 working hours. So I can leave for home now.
After the dinner I will sleep :)
Yes Yes Yes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my goodness !!!!!!
It’s so fresh now...........
Some sort of energy flowing in my heart and mind.
The face is lit up......
I am out of boredom and am not feeling drowsy.......
My eyes are wide open..........

No traffic jams at all on the roads.....
My scooty is running at rocketing speed.......

Whether is clear both inside and outside............ :)

Mind is now thinking...
baap re!!!! Finally it’s thinking....

”Once I reach home, finish the daily chores, sleep and tomorrow morning get up early (7am) and start the day afresh.... “
“Yeah.. Tomorrow I have so much to do.... “

As per the plans I am done with my daily chores. Now feeling like relaxing after the tough day...
So I am watching TV. Then I remembered I have some 50 pages from the novel left to read. I started reading.
I finished it.
Wow, what an ending....
I looked at my watch... It’s already 1am in the night.

And I slept............

I heard MIL banging the door...
I thought why she is banging the door in the middle of the night.
I suddenly got up...
Looked around.... It’s already morning
Looked at my watch...
Oh god ... NO !!!!!!!
It’s 9am...

I am still feeling sleepy...
I don’t want to go to office today :(
Its sooooooooooo booooooring

The story continues as usual...................