It happened to me !!!

Usually I don’t ask anything from him except for his love and time.

He laughs and says it is easier to give, if you ask for some material possession than time and love. And our love fights follows.....

One day I was coming back from office. I wanted to buy some groceries, so I went to Gandhi bazaar. I was walking on the street and suddenly saw someone who looked like hubby. I stopped and wanted to take a closer look so I went towards him and yes !!!

Its hubby standing in front of jewellery shop !!!!


I was actually thinking of investing in Gold. I didn’t want to buy gold coins instead I thought I will buy jewellery so that it will be an investment as well as I can wear it :-) I discussed the same with hubby, but he was not very much sure, he just said lets think about it. Then we became very busy with other work.

Beaming with happiness I approached towards hubby.

But some girl came to my hubby and she was showing him something.

She looked very happy. Hubby taking that in his hand kissed her on her cheeks.

When I reached him I heard him saying, “it really looks beautiful on you honey !!!”

I felt as if the whole world had come to a stand still....

His words were echoing in my ears. With tremendous shock and fear I tapped him on his back.

He looked at me and was dumbfounded. The girl was holding his hands looked happier with him. Hubby introduced her to me as his girl friend.

I didn’t know what to do... I always had a doubt. I had seen her msgs in his mobile. But I never asked him. I trusted him a lot. My trust is broken and my heart.

With eyes filled with tears I looked at him, my voice was stuck and I was unable to talk. With lot of difficulty I whispered,


“ I knew it !!!”


I asked him,


“This is the girl who used to send msgs to you?”


Thinking for few seconds he replied,


“Oh !! no... That’s another girl”


He made that statement as if having two three girlfriends after your marriage is very normal and natural.


There was no guilt. No hiding. No confusion. No stammer.


His voice was clear and firm.


This was the most unexpected thing to happen in ones life, and I was so unprepared to face it, tell me who will be expecting such things in their lives???


But it happened and it happened to me.

I could not control my emotions...

I cursed finding myself in such situation...

I cursed myself for going to Gandhi bazaar that day....

I was living happily in the world of lies, than in this truth and uncertainty.

I found myself alone in that crowded place...

I cried ... I cried until my energy was drained......

I could not measure how painful it was...

Is this what they call ‘death’???

I was crying aloud .. I was begging god to give me my husband back...

I loved him so much ....

I trusted him... he is my life ... he is my present and he is my future.....

“God please don’t take him away from me I cannot live without him !!!”

I cried .... My eyes are heavy with tears ....

Hubby is consoling me.

I am unable to see him...

I am forcing myself to see him...

I want to see him and I just want a glimpse....

I want to hug him and tell him, how much I love him...

I want to tell him, how much I need him....

He is so confused...

He is holding me in his arms

He is asking me to stop crying...

He is asking me to open my eyes....

With great efforts I finally opened my eyes with tears rolling over my cheeks.

Bed lamp was on, otherwise it was dark.

I tried to recollect what had happened.


I started to laugh.....


Hubby was much more puzzled. He went on questioning what had happened to me.

Poor guy.. I didn’t know whether to tell him or not.

I definitely knew he would feel bad..

How could I even imagine such things...


Finally I told him about my dream.


Now this was his turn to cry ... “God please save me from this female !!!!”

What's the solution ????

Life isn’t smooth always !!!!!!!

I am telling it as if I invented something newly. Every man discovers this truth one or the other time in his life time.

Even though we discover this truth we find it very hard to accept!!!!!!!!!!!!

Any way life has its own way of making us accepting it, that’s another thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why all of a sudden I am talking like a philosopher???????

The answer is quite simple.... I hit this hard truth once again.
Whenever I reinvent this truth I always try to analyze, understand and to find a solution so that I can run my life smoothly but I hardly found success in doing so.

I know what the root cause for this problem is; it’s our “EXPECTATIONS!!!!!!!!!!”

We expect people around us to be good always, expect them to do the things as we like, expect them to talk only those words which are treat to hear.. We expect people to love us
in the way we imagine we want to be loved, cared, respected and blah blah blah !!!!!!!

All in all we expect a perfect family, perfect job, and perfect world ... and we think once everything is perfect even we will become perfect ....

Oh god plz give me a break

While building nourishing our own expectations and dreams do we care about what others are expecting from us??? What we should give in order to get what we are expecting??? Are we perfect before expecting everything to be perfect????

Okey... I have few more cases to be tested before I leave for the day .................

Fine... before I start my work let me tell you the solution otherwise I cannot continue to work.

I won’t say, don’t expect anything at all rather I would say “be one with the world and accept the imperfection” :)

Hmmm.....

Kuch samajh main aya kya !!!!

Maa Kassam, Mujhe bhi samajh mein nahi aya :)

Kaash... I would have understood what I have written !!!!!!!!!!

Why????

I always question myself.... why is it like this????
People whom you love the most and care the most hurt you the most???

But I finally found out that it’s not the others but myself who is hurting me. Because I am the one who has given the permission for them to hurt me.

Then why did I give them the permission??? It’s because I feel they are nearer and dearer to me. I care for them; I value them the most in my life.

Oh my god....

It’s like answering the question...
“Which came first??? The chicken or the egg”

Let me go back to the work instead of getting caught in this dead lock :D

Some Snippets

From past few years I have a habit of getting my photographs clicked every year and laminating it. My parents love those photographs (all the parents believe that their children are the mostest beautiful children in the wholest of the world) and they have hanged all the laminated photographs on the wall. Yesterday few of my friends visited my house and were looking at my pictures. And one commented,

Friend: Very nice pictures.... So next year your parents are going to put two more on the wall is it???

Me: Why two, next year also one photo only know

Friend: the rate at which you are growing horizontally I doubt if next year you can fit into one photograph...............

Me: :-|

*************************************

Yesterday I had been to a function. I met few of my friends there. We had a gala time and then had lunch together. Lunch was really tasty. I had nicely. Then I walked towards the hand wash. One of my friends called me from behind and asked me....

Friend: Hey what are you doing here ???

Me: Washing my hands :-|

Friend: If you are here attending the functions and having the lunch ... who will carry chamudeswari idol in dasara procession ???

Me: :-| :-|


P.S : Elephants carry goddess chamundeswari idol during dasara procession


*************************************

Yesterday hubby was also with me. He met most of my relatives. We reached home. Casually we were talking. In between hubby remarked.

Hubby: none of your relatives or family members is that good looking know

I gave a GOOD look to hubby.

Hubby: err...excluding you dear. You are my wife sweaty. Look at You. You are so good looking. Look at your eyes...they are err ... big.. err... Furious

I continued my GOOD look at him...

Being Silent .....

I was just browsing through some of the other blogs and I found an interesting post which talked about the power of being silent. Though I know ‘silent’ as a word I have had no experience of being silent (check with my hubby. He is sure to second me on that :-))

For me 'silence' is synonymous to 'impossible'.

My mom tells I was the one among the early talkers as a kid. No wonder I am a chatter box today. Even though there is no need, though there is no meaning I simply keep blabbering something or the other. I always want to come out of this bad habit (‘bad’ because my blabbering had resulted in many problems with friends/strangers and family members). Especially when I am angry, I spurt out everything which is there and not there in my mind which in turn causes havoc. Spoken words and broken hearts can never be repaired.

So I was discussing with hubby how to learn to be silent. Suggestion came instantly,

“Go to AOL, attend vipasana course”.

Hubby had been to the course. But I never saw him exhibiting what he learnt especially when I start talking err... blabbering err... spurting. He losses his cool and shouts at a greater pitch than mine (sorry for little exaggerations!!! he can never pitch his voice greater than mine. I am sure nobody can beat me in this regard)

Then I thought, learning something in normal environment cannot prepare you for extreme situations. If at all one has to learn something, learn it in extreme conditions, then the lessons last longer.

So I have decided I will be with my MIL and learn to be silent :-|

The bird in it’s nest ....

A bird started weaving a nest. It was very happy it’s building a nest. The bird had a great enthusiasm. It flew far off places to get fine fibers and strong twigs. While weaving it took care of even tiniest things because it wanted to build the best nest. The bird all the time dreamt about its future. It was thinking it will get married soon and lead a peaceful life with its partner in the beautiful nest it’s weaving now. The bird wanted to make a big nest because it thought the nest should be enough for her kids when she will have some. She dreamt that one day she will be feeding her kids and playing with her kids and her partner taking care of her. She always dreamt about one happy family. She had so much love in her heart. She needed somebody to share it with. She wanted happiness everywhere. She needed happiness around her always. With all these dreams, anticipations, love and care the bird happily weaving the nest. The efforts she was putting in reflected the love flowing within her. Lost in her dreams one day while the bird was weaving the nest, it’s started getting dark. Bird with its everlasting enthusiasm thought night is approaching and continued to weave. When the tiredness won over its enthusiasm the bird found that she is caught inside the nest and there is no opening at all. The bird was buried in her own nest with her unfulfilled dreams.

It is the story of most of us who without realizing where we end up, just get lost in our dreams.

Happy Teachers day

I was thinking of posting this post from past one week but one lazy bum I am posting it now. I would like to take this opportunity to thank all my teachers.

In Sanskrit a teacher is called “GuRu”, and you know why, the syllable ‘Gu’ means shadows or dark and the syllable ‘Ru’, he who disperses them,
Because of the power to disperse darkness the ‘GuRu’ is thus named.

There were/are some teachers who shaped my life to a greater extent and are responsible for all the success in my life. Especially my mom (mothers are the first ever teacher in ones life) who stood by me in the time of crisis and taught me how to fight with the unfair life bravely. She taught me the little lessons of humanity, kindness, obedience, sharing, being faithful, and taking responsibilities which actually make a big difference in the world. Even if I want to thank her from the bottom of my heart, I cannot, because it will fall short for her stature.


I thank my teachers especially NSR, SR, MAV, MVV who made me a better person and inspired me to do great things in life and I only hope someday in my life I will do something great because that’s the only way I can repay for what I learnt from them.


I thank those who taught me the lessons which were there in the syllabus so that I could score good marks in my exams and get into good colleges and industries.


I even thank whole heartedly to those who did not even teach what they were supposed to teach, and gave some crappy reasons why they could not. And because of that I was forced me to learn by myself. They indirectly taught me being self-reliant.


On the whole I thank them all and all the small and big things in life, who/which taught me in one way or the other and helped me becoming better day by day. So everything and everybody in this universe are my teachers and I thank them all on this teacher's day.


As life itself is a big school and we are all the students of this school, we will continue to learn as long as we live and there will be many more teachers coming and going in our lives teaching something or the other.


So I wish everybody “Happy Learning” And let’s keep learning :)